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Issue 345
23 October 2011
Updated Weekly
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Defenders Threaten Walk Out Over Offside Rule

OLD BAG: This is an archive story from Issue 33 - 9 Feb 2004

FIFA Headquarters: Besieged

Troublemaking centre-back rouses rabble

The offside trap in happier times... the 70s

Dispute puts flat back four in jeopardy say centre halves

Football defenders from all over the world gathered to demonstrate outside governing body FIFA's headquarters in Transylvania this weekend following outrage at game officials reinterpretation of the offside rule.

Several high profile incidents involving the offside rule have been mirrored in football matches all over the globe that have so incensed the games centre half trade union that they are threatening strike action and even to sever ties with the footballing authorities.

Solidbakfornosc

Defenders union Oireffia (recently merged from The Centre Halves & General Full Backs Union and The Defensive Midfielders Association) organized the demonstration following what union kingpin Micky Droy described as: "A large number of dodgy decisions that have robbed our members of their professional pride and dignity.". Droy said as he was preparing to ballot the membership on strike action and the question of withdrawal from FIFA itself unless the controversial offside rule is revised yet again.

Protesters were telling reporters and anyone else who was prepared to listen of their harrowing experiences:

Solid

Jody is an artist who plays in the centre of defense for a Wolverhampton based pub team only last Saturday fell foul of the law. "I was defending this set piece right? And the oppo striker behind me is well offside so I thinks 'well that's all right then' and the next thing I know the gaffer's bollocking me from the sideline because the same strikers just scored. Something to do with 2nd phase. Completely beyond me."

Oireffia held a rally at the demonstration calling for a vote on strike action for upcoming professional fixtures unless. The motion was passed almost unanimously.

"The brothers were asked to vote and everyone's hands shot up in the air straight away" said Union activist Tony Adams from Buckinghamshire. "Fantastic discipline. Shame we don't see it on a Saturday."

Geddit?

However, not everyone in the union is in favour of strike action. Claude is an immigrant defensive midfielder from west London: "Many of the union's members are being intimidated by left wing infiltrators."

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Also in Issue 33