The Onion Bag: Occasionally humorous football satire
"Football satire at its finest" msn.com
"Cruel, heartless b*st*rds" Fox Sports
"Will have you laughing like a drain" itv.com
Issue 345
23 October 2011
Updated Weekly
GET THE WEEKLY EMAIL

Hockey Club Joins Football League

OLD BAG: This is an archive story from Issue 20 - 3 Nov 2003
Hockey mask

Wimbledon keeper Paul Heald warms up for the historic fixture against Bradford

Hockey players

The Dons line up for a set piece

First Division strugglers Wimbledon FC announced this weekend their new status as a hockey club but insisted that they would continue to play in the Football League.

The club have fought of resistance from the FA and have won a landmark case which allows them to retain their Nationwide League membership while moving from south London to Milton Keynes and now changing into a hockey club.

Wimbledon Hockey Club, as they shall be known as from now on, got off to a winning start at the National Hockey Stadium in Milton Keynes against Bradford City on Saturday evening in on of the Sky Sports cameras.

"This is a great day," said a Wimbledon spokesperson before the match, "A great day for football, a great day for hockey and a great day for British Justice." When asked if it was a great day for Wimbledon the Spokesperson replied: "Sorry. Whose Wimble Don? I've never heard of him.

The club were keen to stress that the players were adjusting to the change:

"Hockey is just like football really." Said Dons manager Stuart Murdoch. "Apart from the sticks and the bloke in the freaky mask in goal theres not much difference really."

Wimbledon Captain Nigel Reo Coker said that the players enjoyed their first game. "It was a bit strange at first. What with the sticks and skirts because we hadn't been told that we were a woman's hockey team. But once we got going we played and felt the wind passing through us, we played with real freedom out there. Very fresh."

Copyright © 2003 - 2020 The Onion Bag

Also in Issue 20